It’s Just Not the Same

My father passed away yesterday.  The first thing I wanted to do was to hug my mother and my sister. But that was not possible.  Instead, I talk to them through a phone and tell them I love them.. It’s just not the same. My friends reach out to me- virtual hugs they say.  It’s just not the same.  

Everyone needs time to process, to grieve, to spend time with family, to cry together, to laugh together, to comfort one another, and to remember.   Instead, we gather together online, not face to face. It’s just not the same.

We plan a burial that only a few can attend.  The funeral that would honor his life can not be held.  Maybe later. When this is over. When will that be a few weeks? Months?  So we wait and watch and mourn in our own way – separated from each other.  Not just by miles, but by stay-at-home orders and restrictions. It’s just not the same. 

As we try to figure out what our “new normal” will be,  We remember the man he was, the life he lived, and reflect on the good times.  We laugh at funny stories, remember happier days, and better moments. Our love and sense of family will carry us through the days ahead.  Friends will still call and check in.  We will continue to hold each other up, remind each other of our love, and take some time to remember him. 

And just maybe it will be okay that it is not the same.